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Nut Thieves from Beyond!
Posted on Sat, October 05, 2002 by Dogadmin
Damren writes "This is a story write-up of an one shot adventure I ran sometime ago that may or may-not be suitable here. Some who have read it thought it to be entertaining. I leave it to you to decide.

Author: Damren


Nut Thieves from Beyond!

by Damren

Used with Permission. Do not repost without obtaining prior permission from the author.

The Characters

GreyElven Magi (who, while without magic, still got to strut his stuff due to an unscheduled foray into the Seelie Realms).

Gnomish Priest (Who never imagined a trip to a gnomish town could lead to mystery & danger, but thought that was just grand!).

The Story

While heading toward the Elvish homeland of Celene, our party split into several small groups (plot twist by necessity under the attendance by-laws I just make up as I go along). Our two intrepid adventurers (mostly the gnome) choose to take the long way via a previously visited gnomish tree town by the name of HighBough.

HighBough is a busy gnomish town located in the wooded hills of the Gnarly Forest. It is well defended by illusionary magics & the gnomish militia (the best darn fighting force for miles around...you guessed it...the only fighting force for miles around). The ever inventive gnomes have a number of pulleys, platforms, ropes & nets that allow access to the town (if you can find them). The ground below the town is always well guarded & patrolled.

On entering the woodland territories of the gnomes, they were quickly set apon by the gnomish militia. Bushes became agitated, trees became threatening & rocks encircled the group. Our intrepid gnomish warriors thought for sure that they had found the foul thieves who stole the sacred nuts (acorns actually) that were to be an offering in the upcoming festival. They were wrong.

However, the mouthy elvish mage soon found that he had volunteered himself & his gnomish companion in the greatest search undertaken by gnome-kind in the last....4 months! (you'd be surprised what these guys can misplace).

After scamming free quarters, food and the ever important gnomish drinking staff from the locals, our wise & kind elvish mage began a detailed investigation (of his quarters and the free meal). And, after that, discovered a number of odd details concerning the case at hand. The sacred nuts (acorns, really) were not the only things that had been stolen. Many small trinkets, all about the township, had been taken over the last few days. No culprits could be found or divined through normal (ie..magical) means. Everybody’s first thought! Squirrels!

But how could a few squirrels make off with HUNDREDS of pounds of nuts (acorns, best crop ever!)!? Impossible! Nevertheless, our group set out to investigate the obvious connection (nuts & squirrels).

In traveling out of the township to the nearby wild groves they came across several squirrels. The gnome, a cleric by trade, cast his speak with animals spell. "Have you seen any nut thieves?" he asked.

The squirrels went into a frenzy! Nut thieves! They scattered, panicked, each returning to its home to defend their most precious treasures. After some searching, our wise & intrepid team found a squirrel near its lair & calmed him down enough to discover that the only other creatures nearby that had an equal fascination with the 'treasures' were, what the squirrels called, "nut gnomes".

After further investigation & 'stake out' (they created illusionary nuts (just a big pile of ... you guessed it ... acorns) & smeared nut oil (for scent) all over the warehouse to try to lure the thieves back) they discovered that ALL of the sacred nuts were found by one farmer. They quickly traveled off to his home at the edge of the gnomish lands (about a day out).

Here, they found his house in some disarray & he and his family missing. Some blood was found, as well as, tiny arrows of unknown origin. First thought! Brownies! And it so happened, several small clans existed nearby. In travelling back to consult the elders they encountered a strange and curious creature...a giant skunk. Giant skunks are NOT common in 'natural' forest, and so the npc gnomes expressed to our heroes. Another speak with animals spell was cast & they discovered that this skunk was very perplexed. Something about it wasn't right, especially it hands - it just didn't know why. The mage & gnome quickly deduced that the creature had been changed. On a wild try, the mage checked to see if his 'anti-magic' curse might dispell the magic. One random roll later & the gnomish farmer’s wife stood before them & promptly passed out.

The party began searching for others of the household that may have been transformed. In doing so, they encountered the brownies...but, not the brownies they were supposed to encounter. Normal brownies are about 2 ft high, these guys topped out at 12" and not a hair more (some several hairs less). The group parlayed. The brownies came "to beyond" to try to shut the "door". Their home had been attacked by a strange & mythic creature of power, known as....a bear. (the looks & laughs I got for this were very satisfying).

The brownies, fearing more strange creatures (chickens, ferrets, who knows what else), tracked the bear back to its "home" and found the door to beyond. They agreed to help the party with their problem if the party could aid them in closing the door.

Under the guidance of the brownies, the party found the door. A rift into the mystic land of the Seelie, the fairy realm. Crossing over they discovered, quite by surprise, the elven mage had power here. He could 'read' his book by touch, although the energy transfer of the spell caused him bodily damage and a failed save could damage his intelligence (temporarily). And all his spells did what they were supposed to do, they just did it...differently. The armor spell formed a hazy, phantasmal chainmail. The stone skin spell gave his skin the look & texture of marble. And his cantrips hovered around his head until he needed them. A most impressive sight if you think about it.

The mage risked the spell absorption & so powered, followed the brownies (who rode large, flying leaves in the Seelie Realm) to the seelie groves. On reaching the groves the party was attacked. Small arrows shot out of the trees & scattered golden dust when they hit. Several of the gnomish npc's fell to the odd affect. The party discovered they were being attacked...by squirrels...go figure.

These squirrels, Kerpca (MC annual 4, spelling may vary) by name, wore cloths, used weapons & the shaman could even cast spells. His hold person brought spectral chains from the ground to capture all the magi's limbs. The Kerpca shaman asked the elf why he had allied himself with this huge clan of...nut thieves?

It would seem the farmer, thinking he had a stroke of luck, stumbled on the richest grove of nuts he had every spied. He quickly picked all he could, quite a few for the inventive gnome with the collapsible cart, and took them home as the greatest festival offering ever.

The Kerpca were not pleased. Quite agitated, in fact. They followed the thieving gnome to learn all they could. They passed through the door to beyond & took back what belonged to them (and a few things that didn't) & decided to punish he who had taken from them.

The mage quickly & skillfully apologized and talked his way out of certain...transformation. The nut farmer, now a black squirrel of no great intelligence or stature, was returned and the party went home, leaving this strange realm behind.

While leaving the gate, the party spied the gnomish elders riding up in their Giant Hamster driven carts. I know, I'm a sad sad man, but I just love these things - the party even passed one on a farm that was running in a wheel that was pumping water - I just can't help it. The elders quickly determined to close this gate before more odd happenings transpired (as if they had the right to judge).

The mage found his powers gone. The nut gnome was punished for his transgressions (community service, there are - after all - ordinances about these things) & the party (a.k.a. festivities) went on, without the nuts (the aforementioned acorns). While "Jamming with the G-crew" our intrepid elven mage noticed one odd thing. A squirrel... dressed in a green coat and hat, with a bow slung over his shoulder.

Go figure.


Note: humor, fiction, gnome"
 
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Re: Nut Thieves from Beyond! (Score: 1)
by MichaelSandar on Sun, January 05, 2003
(User Info | Send a Message)
Outstanding, I must say!!



Re: Nut Thieves from Beyond! (Score: 1)
by Mystic-Scholar on Sun, October 04, 2009
(User Info | Send a Message) http://mysticscholar.blogspot.com/
Rather amusing and entertaining. a nice "side trip" for your party.




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