Postfest XII(Richfest 2009): The Oogga-Booga Bush
Date: Tue, October 06, 2009
Topic: Mysterious Places

Rumor has it that down south in the Pearl Sea, there is an exotic inn nestled in the roots of a giant tree called the Oogga-Booga Bush. But you can’t believe rumors.

A conversation overheard in a dockside tavern somewhere on the Azure coast-

Tippler: “Yeah … That’s what I said: The Oogga-Booga Bush.”

Gint: “Yer drunk. You did not go to no crazy jungle drummy inn called the boogie woogie bush.”

T: “No ya gint, its called the Oogga-Booga Bush, and I am not drunk yet, so that’ll cost you another. … Two more pints Love.”

G: “Whatever. He he he, you musta got some funky creeper hanging on to you if’n you’re recallin’ something like that through that rummy haze between you ears, you bloody tippler.”

T: “Well, I’ll tell you what, I wouldn’t mind that for a few minutes with that furry girl they got down there.”

G: “Just what the heck are you talking about?”

T: “The boss’s girl! She was a beastman; or would you call ‘em beastwomen or beastgirls? … Oh, I don’t know, but she kinda looked like an elf only covered to the toes in green fur! But that’s not the half of it. The way she moved those arms and hips and the even the very fur on her body! It was like … hypnotic …and then she’d disappear before your very eyes right into the wood or green leaves that are everywhere in the place like one of those chameleon lizards. Then just like that, snap, she would be at the top of a branch flinging little poisoned spears from a chucker. I saw her do that once to a giant bat that was trying to snatch a customer… so I, well, I passed on the stew that night.”

G: “You’re expecting me to believe that you’re talking about an actual place, right?”

T: “Yes! The Oogga-Booga Bush! Well, if you saw it you’d think it was a giant tree, and I mean a really really giant tree, like a mountain, thousands of years old, but I was told more than once when I was there that it is a bush and not a tree. But fool me if you could explain the difference. But it is big and at the bottom of it, right down there in the roots, on the ground, there is an inn. A big inn with everything, almost like a small town, with all kinds of crazy folk haunting the place. And it was run by this big guy. I didn’t get to meet him … wouldn’t want to … but you couldn’t miss him. He was bigger than an ogre and looked like an oversized northern barbarian with a bad sun burn and leopard skin underwear instead of a grizzly bear cloak! You wouldn’t catch me laughin’ at him then, but he was a sight! They said he was a Child of Llerg, so maybe he was from the north. I don’t know.”

G: “That's crazy. You’re just making stuff up. Where is this place supposed to be?”

T: “Well, that’s kinda the thing. I don’t quite recall. We were in and out of lots of little ports here and there … It is somewhere down in the Pearl Sea, on an island, but well, you know …. It don’t matter no how, cuz I don’t have any plans on going back. The inn was fine and all, but the rest of that tree … I mean bush. That was something scary. The higher you go up, the stranger it gets. So they say.”

G: “So they say?”

T: “Yeah, there is supposed to be all kinds of things living up there … like that bat what got killed, and lots of other meaner stuff. It’s supposed to be like a down right dungeon, only going up! They say there’re even whole lakes and monster fish up there in the boughs and who knows what else. I’m not going back.”

G: “The Oogga-Booga Bush?”

T: “Well, it might have been called something else.”

G: “Whaaaaat?”

T: “Uma-Keke! That was her name … like a living emerald … sigh.”

G: “You bloody sot, you made this whole thing up.”

T: “Didn’t. You owe me another drink.”

This article comes from Canonfire!

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