Well met, Lords and Ladies. If I might have but a moment of your time, allow me to introduce myself and my companion.
Here I shall be known as Stonechild, and my four legged companion by my side as Shadow. What's that my Lady? Why are we known as Stonechild and Shadow? Well my Lady, that is a good story, one I shall be glad to tell, later on this evening perhaps over some wine at the Golden Phoenix Inn, where I do also happen to have a room . But I digress, I am a teller of tales, sometimes even a participant in them. For over a quarter of a century now I have traveled Oerth, and beyond, sometimes taking to the wilds to see things of natural beauty and sometimes among civilization to see those items of interest that civilized folks might make.
Lately my companion and myself have been in a world known as Toril or Abeir-Toril for those more learned among you. For those less studious, you may have heard the name Forgotten Realms. Well, there has been a terrible catastrophe in that world, really an abortion, by the Overgod known as Hasbro. My Shadow and myself quickly fled so as to not to be among the babies being thrown out with the bathwater as they say, forgive my bluntness.
Previous to that, I had been wandering the planes of existence, based out of a metropolis known as Sigil. A wonderful city Sigil, one can travel to any number of worlds from there, oh the sights I have seen! And you my dear girl, perhaps you would like to hear some of those stories, yes? Then meet me tomorrow evening at the Golden Phoenix Inn, I'm sorry but it does appear as if I will be otherwise occupied this evening
I returned to Sigil and while there, I met a fellow traveler from a world known as Golarion. He told me of his world and how it was unaffected by the catastrophe caused by the Overgod Hasbro. Intrigued, I followed him back to his world, and low and behold what he spoke was true. Indeed the Overgod of his sphere, a compassionate being known as Paizo, not only shielded it's world from the effects of the catastrophe, it taught them a better way. I was so impressed, I immediately petitioned for a position a chronicler of their Pathfinder Society.
But I did miss my home world of Oerth, and I longed to travel the Flaness once more. I located a portal and with great trepidation traveled back to the world of my birth, and to that most fair of cities, Greyhawk. But to my surprise and great delight I see that it seems the Overgod Hasbro has forgotten about Oerth. And that the catastrophe known as 4th Edition, in some circles, in others it has much less flattering names, has not rooted itself here. Although, in my short time back, I have heard rumors of it's evil attempting to find followers in Oerth. Friends! I say to you now you must not let this catastrophe spread! For those who would defend their world, yes the evil as well as the good, for all must band together if we are to save Oerth, come meet with me at the Patrician's Club at sunset, three days hence.
Now my Lords, in five days time my Shadow and myself travel East, to spread the word. I will travel through to the Kingdom of Nyrond, by way of the Duchy and County of Urnst, besides I hear that the Countess Belissica is in need, and it would be most unchivalrous of myself to not offer my aid . As I do not wish to give offense as I travel through those two lands, can any of you provide for me a list of the counts, archbarons, and barons of those two fair realms?
Thank you Lord Mortellan for the information. That's exactly some of what I was looking for. It would appear that the previous information which I gathered from the Living Greyhawk Gazetteer is a bit outdated. But I suppose that's bound to happen when one purchases books from a merchant known as Half-Price Books
A word of advice: Do be careful -- fairly spoken Bard -- in your travels across the Flanaess. For the Overgod Hasbro is indeed lurking in Greyspace, waiting for the appropriate moment to strike a blow at Oerth itself!
Many Sages and Savants here, in the Gem of the Flanaess, Greyhawk, do believe that the Overgod Hasbro is none other than the Dread Tharizdun himself!
But we speak of this matter only in whispers. Do not speak these things too loudly. The Dreaded One is listening!
(Shudder) Even now I begin to feel a cold dread settle upon me. Its as if . . .
What's that!? What . . . The darkness! It can't be . . . it can't . . . by the Gods!
Me -- archmage -- sitting at my desk, innocently working late into the night, Bubbagump, Assassin of Tharizdun (a.k.a. evil incarnate) sneaking up behind me with his unholy (squiggly bladed) poison dagger!
Me -- archmage -- sitting at my desk, innocently working late into the night, Bubbagump, Assassin of Tharizdun (a.k.a. evil incarnate) sneaking up behind me with his unholy (squiggly bladed) poison dagger!
Ah, too cool!
And make sure you get the ears right! We halflings can be...sensitive...about our ears.
And, if you must know, I'm a proud Hairfoot. You draw me in boots and you go on the list!
Oh, and remember the Lederhosen. Any picture of an evil halfling assassin of Tharizdun needs to have him in knee length suspendered leather short pants.
That's it! You're all on the list now! And for the record Slim Whitman was the greatest recording artist of all time, I don't wear lederhosen (I prefer body stockings), and I'm a halfling, not a gnome!
(*bubbagump gestures angrily to his companion: "Come, pet, I have a little job for you..."*)
Ok . . . ok . . . ok, so you're a (Holy Pelor) damned, sneaking, back-stabbing, Hairfoot (Hairfeet? ) halfling in Swedish bicycle shorts! (Err, I mean hosiery)
Uh, . . . what pet?
Is that hot air I feel on the back of my neck? (*turns slowly in chair*)
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. But I digress, I am a teller of tales, sometimes even a participant in them. For over a quarter of a century now I have traveled Oerth, and beyond, sometimes taking to the wilds to see things of natural beauty and sometimes among civilization to see those items of interest that civilized folks might make.
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