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    Xuxe’s Chicha
    Posted on Fri, January 27, 2006 by Dongul
    wolfsire writes "
    Ever since it was first imbibed, alcohol has been both a blessing and a curse. To some, it offers blissful numbness, to others, violence, aggression, dependency and other personal and social ills. In this regard, Xuxe’s Chicha is as profane as its creator.



    Xuxe’s Chicha
    By: wolfsire
    Posted with permission. Do not repost without obtaining prior permission from the author.

    Ever since it was first imbibed, alcohol has been both a blessing and a curse. To some, it offers blissful numbness. To others it engenders, violence tendencies, aggression, dependency and other personal and social ills. In this regard, Xuxe’s Chicha (1) is as profane as its creator.

    Chicha is a traditional ceremonial beer made by the Olman from corn fermented after mastication. For mundane chicha consumption, corn is usually little more than a symbolic adjunct to the fermentation of the more readily available staples, such as rice and various fruits. But Xuxe’s Chicha, being made from extraordinary ingredients, sanctified maize and the incendiary drool of the Greater Gibbering Mouther, Xuxeteanlahucuxolazapaminaco (2), is far more potent. In appearance, it is a thin, purplish and cloudy liquid, with ever-present eddies of pink accenting its color. In flavor, it is sour and slightly fruity, but it is painfully, although not substantially, caustic.

    Although it happened ages ago, the coming of Xuxe at the fall of the Olman Empire was prophesized. The prophesy was well known, but not likely understood. In the Chamber of the Achieved Ones (3), in the ruined city of Tamoachan, ancient glyphs presaged, “Beware … many-eyed ‘god’(?) will bring/rain a fiery end/death.” And so it did. Now known as the Eye God, though not truly divine, Xuxe’s slathering slobber did literally rain fiery death upon Chetanicatla, the former capital of the Olman Empire, during its fall. There, Xuxe now rules a host of gibberspawn-infected slaves who feed its voraciousness almost every bit of biota within their reach. Yet, the prophesy said naught of its continued domination of that city even to a millennia later, or of the malevolence Xuxe would spread to the remnants of the empire. Beyond the doomed city, that evil has largely been brought with Xuxe’s Chicha.

    Both before and after the fall of the Olman Empire, caches of sacred maize had been ceremoniously preserved by priests for later sacrifice, not only in Chetanicatla, but throughout the whole of the Amedio. Year after year, many such caches have been unceremoniously offered for consumption to the multiple maws of the Eye God. There is little that it finds unpalatable or indigestible, but both are so for such caches, due undoubtedly to their sanctification for true divinities. Whenever Xuxe has regurgitated the sacred maize back into the vessels in which it was preserved, rather than merely upon the ground, there has always been someone willing to risk life and limb to acquire it, for after more than a year of stabilization and fermentation it is transformed into a magical potion and poison.

    When consumed, Xuxe’s Chicha has the effect of both a potion of strength and a potion of heroism. As such, it is greatly desired by warriors of both the Olman and Amedi Suel. However, when consumed in quantities sufficient to have such effects, it invariably and permanently imparts a moderately infectious psychosis characterized by a propensity for irrational violent and aggressive conduct. While not typically incapacitating, or the sole cause of the incessant warfare in the Amedio, such psychosis has been very harmful personally and socially. Yet, due to the prevailing culture of the Olman and Amedi Suel, and the nature of their gods, such psychosis has generally not been seen as something to be avoided. Whether that would continue should Xuxe be destroyed may never be known.

    Foornotes
    1: Xuxe’s Chicha should be pronounced shoo-sheh’s chee-chah.
    2: Xuxeteanlahucuxolazapaminaco would be pronounced shoo-sheh-teh-ahn-lah---win-kw-shoh-lah---sah-pah-meen-ah-ko.
    3: Room 22, Chamber of the Nacehual (“the achieved ones”) in C1 The Hidden Shrine of Tomoachan.

    Note on Pronunciations
    The above pronunciations are half-WAGs based on estimation of the word and syllable divisions appropriate to constitute the three high priest’s names taken by the monster that formed the agglomeration for its name and linguistic rules at “Pronunciation of Aztec Names, ” http://www.mythome.org/aztecnames.html; “Aztec Names,” http://www.simonlevack.com/names.htm; and “Aztec Language: Nahuatl, ” http://www.geocities.com/Athens/Academy/3088/nahuatl.html. There are fourteen syllables in the name, which is as many as in the other biggest word you ever heard, supercalifragilisticexpialidocious. So, if you actually feel like trying to pronounce it, instead of just saying shoo-sheh, zoo-zee, susie or sushi, you might as well say it out loud and sound precocious. Or better yet, come up with a more accurate pronunciation and actually be so. Don’t worry about mispronouncing it in front of Xuxe, it is not like it will pass on eating you if you happen get it right.

    Other Sources
    The Scarlet Brotherhood sourcebook and various Olman discussions in the Canonfire! forums, particularly “Olman Origins and Metalworking?”
    "
     
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    Re: Xuxe’s Chicha (Score: 1)
    by Lassiviren on Thu, February 02, 2006
    (User Info | Send a Message) http://coraxery.blogspot.com
    Do you choose death or Chicha?

    'Death'

    Then.... it is Death by Chicha!!!!


    Sorry, I could only think of that bad joke when reading the article. :)
    I liked it though.



    Re: Xuxe’s Chicha (Score: 1)
    by Wolfsire on Thu, February 02, 2006
    (User Info | Send a Message)
    Thanks for the comment.  Every little bit help to keep the interest in writing going.  I remember the joke and appreciate it all the more as I used to be a homebrewer.  Some of the things I made were pretty scary.


    ]


    Re: Xuxe’s Chicha (Score: 1)
    by GVDammerung on Tue, February 07, 2006
    (User Info | Send a Message | Journal)
    "But Xuxe’s Chicha, being made from extraordinary ingredients, sanctified maize and the incendiary drool of the Greater Gibbering Mouther, Xuxeteanlahucuxolazapaminaco (2), is far more potent."

    Alrighty, then!  Mother's milk! :-D

    This is an interesting piece of cultural detailing.  You've got some pretty cool ideas. 



    Re: Xuxe’s Chicha (Score: 1)
    by Wolfsire on Tue, February 07, 2006
    (User Info | Send a Message)
    Thanks.  I started drafting Barbakoa, Alligator Accession and included a reference to Xuxe's Chicha just as a rather sick joke.  But then I could not help but think that that idea was worth an article all by itself.



    ]


    Re: Xuxe’s Chicha (Score: 1)
    by Scottenkainen on Thu, February 23, 2006
    (User Info | Send a Message)
    What were those filthy Olmans doing in their beer?  Oh! -- fermented after mastication!  That's okay, then.

    Seriously, if the Olmans were able to brew potables that duplicated the effects of magic potions, without the use of magic, what kept them from conquering the world?



    Re: Xuxe’s Chicha (Score: 1)
    by Wolfsire on Fri, February 24, 2006
    (User Info | Send a Message)
     

    Scottenkainen "Seriously, if the Olmans were able to brew potables that duplicated the effects of magic potions, without the use of magic, what kept them from conquering the world?"
     

    If you take this article for true, the Olman were not brewing potables that duplicate the effects of magic potions without magic, and the potable itself and the difficulty of acquiring them would prevent conquering the world. 

     

    The corn that was used for the brew was magiced-up for the preservation.  I did not specify the method, and although there are simple spells that could be used, you could make it have been quite difficult, including use of the enchant and item spell.  (Sorry, I do not know 3rd Ed.)  Note that only ancient caches are used, so the method may now be lost. 

     

    The difficulty of finding the old caches of corn and putting them before Xuxe would be no easy task.  There would be a good chance that it would be unsuccessful and/or that you would die in the effort. 

     

    But even if everything went well the benefit of the potion would soon be gone while its lingering infections violent irrationalism would prevent any coordinated military activity.

     

    Indeed, aside from simply expounding upon obnoxious idea of “Xuxe’s Chicha”, using it to explain why the warlike Olman and Amedi could not get along, and consequently provide a way to rectify the situation, was the purpose of this article.

     

    Let the conquer the world.  Viva la Fronds!  We forward in this generation, triumphantly!
     



    ]



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